Bridesmaid Manifesto

This is a post for my bridesmaids.  I really want to emphasize that I am going into this expecting nothing but support and good times.  But I have a feeling lots of brides feel that way when they pick their wedding attendants.  Something about weddings brings out weirdness in people, so I thought my expectations should be outlined clearly.  And humorously.  Because, you know, that's what I do. 

Bridesmaid Manifesto

Welcome to our wedding. I have chosen you all specifically because I love you, and because you are all classy, opinionated, and fun. In order to get us all through this process together, here is what I need from you:

1. For the love of all that is holy, talk to me about other things besides the wedding. Yes, it's going to consume much of my time and sanity, and yes I will need your opinions and help to pull this off. But that doesn't mean I want to be left out of your lives. I love gossip, and I need to know the world does not revolve around my wedding. Because I will forget, at least once.

2. Give me your opinions. If you think something is going to be cheesy, or not fun, or just plain ugly, please let me know. I'm dealing with a lot of ideas right now, and at some point I'll need to pare them down from “ooh shiny” to “alright lets make 200 DIY things!” Because you will be helping me make the DIY things, and if you think they are dumb, no amount of whiskey will make that better.

3. Yes, you will be helping me make things. I promise whiskey. Just maybe, you know, after the DIYing instead of during.

4. As a caveat to number 2: I'm going to make decisions that you wouldn't make, if you were planning your own wedding. The plan is to solicit opinions on most of the important decisions. But once that solicitation phase is over and the decision has been made, I will ask that you kindly zip it. Like, completely. Unless you are willing to take on the added responsibility, be it financial or otherwise.

5. You do not have to throw me a shower. Showers, as far as I'm concerned, are family things. Plus, with all the people you would invite to a shower scattered all over the country, it's just not really something you need to worry about. I do, however, secretly covet a kick-ass bachelorette party. And I have the unreasonable desire to call it a “hen party” in a snooty English accent.

6. There are a slew of reasons that I picked you specifically to be my bridesmaids. And one of those is your ability to organize and tell other people what to do. This is an asset. My job as the bride is to plan the wedding down to the last detail. There may even be a wedding battle plan involved. What I need you to do is take over team leadership on the wedding day. Another bride called it “honey-badgering”. Be prepared to get bossy. My family will be briefed to listen to your marching orders.

7. If, for whatever reason, you feel like you can't do this bridesmaid thing anymore, please let me know. I don't want my wedding to be something that makes your life less fun and more hard.

Love you all and excited to do this wedding thing with you!

E~